It was serious bulls**t down at the Punch and Judy Show at the Westminster Big Top this afternoon, as Ringmaster Cameron accused rival for his red coat, Ed Miliband, of “jumping on a bandwagon after the circus had left town”, in an effort to deflect criticism of his judgement (or lack of it) in supporting his now former ‘Greed Culture’ Secretary Maria Miller. Cameron, who has for a long time favoured combining his current role with a new act, ‘The Man With Two Faces’ put on a spellbinding performance as he told spectators that Mrs Miller had done nothing wrong, and in any event had apologised for it, leaving everyone totally spellbound by that particular piece of verbal trickery. As a finale, he even turned his hand to cabaret, pulling off a fine rendition of that Judy Collins classic, “Send In The Clowns” for which he received a rapturous standing ovation. All the fun of the unfair. 


Send In The Clowns

(With genuine apologies to Judy Collins, who has every right to sue and should do so forthwith)

Isn’t she rich?

Aren’t we a pair?

Me stood here spinning the truth

Just like T Blair.

Send in the clowns.


Isn’t it rich?

I mean all these lies,

Maria who did nothing wrong


Where are the clowns?


Just when I gave, my full support

In spite of knowing she should be in front of a court

Making an arse of myself with my usual flair

Sure of my lies

She isn’t there.


Don’t you love farce?

Cameron’s here.

“I thought that you’d want what I want!

Please calm down, dear!”

But where are the clowns.

Quick, send in the clowns.

Don’t bother, they’re here.


Aren’t we all rich?

Isn’t it queer?

Losing my judgement so late

In my career?

And where are the clowns,

There ought to be clowns.

Oh yes….we’re here.