The more you treat life as an opportunity to sit back and soak up some top quality, priceless entertainment, the more you realise that – unlike television – it never fails to entertain you with an endless supply of insane s**t.
British Airways have, apparently, very recently begun to run an advert on the escalators at Euston Station in London. The advert has what one newspaper described as a ‘watery background’ with a message which reads ‘Escape the commute and discover the Indian Ocean.’ British Airways have today issued an apology – on their Twitter page, where the f**k else? – in relation to this advert. Obviously, bearing in mind the media chosen for this heartfelt apology, British Airways had to shoehorn the full extent of their remorse into 140 characters. ‘Our Indian Ocean advert contained pre-scheduled content that we recognise is inappropriate at this time. We’re sorry for any offence caused.’
The ‘offence’ here refers to the fact that three weeks ago a Malaysian airliner on a flight from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing ‘disappeared’ and, to cut the story short, nobody has any idea why or where it is; except that the search for the aircraft has now moved to the southern Indian Ocean, way off the west coast of Australia.
The one thing that most people seem to be able to agree about is that the families of the passengers of the missing airliner have been royally f**ked about, mentally and emotionally, by the authorities in Malaysia and China from day one. If you ever needed proof positive that governments – any government in fact – really do not give a s**t about you, this really provides it.
As tragic as this situation is, you really have to ask yourself – what the f**k are British Airways apologising for? The last time I looked, the Indian Ocean covered an area of over 73 million square kilometres. Have you any idea how f**king big that is? Try around 20% of the water on the Earth’s surface (give or take) and you get some idea. But it seems that now it is really so insensitive for any commercial company to mention ‘the Indian Ocean’ that they need to apologise, just on the off-chance that someone, somewhere might possibly be offended by the mention of it in the context of travelling there.
First of all, who is really likely to be offended? The families of the passengers? Most of them are in f**king China, trying to retain their sanity whilst floundering in an avoidable pool of bullshit and incompetence! The last thing they are likely to be doing is riding up an escalator at a London station on their way to get a train to Rugby! And, quite honestly, does anyone really think that in the event that these poor people actually did hear about it, their trauma would suddenly be multiplied beyond whatever despair they are currently going through? It’s absolute boll**ks.
You see, the Indian Ocean is one big f**king place. Would anyone possibly consider that in the weeks following the Madrid train bombing, or any similar event, travel agents and airlines should have ceased mentioning Europe as a destination to spend some quality time? When any fatal car accident happens, are local second-hand car dealers ‘forced’ into apologising for advertising cars for sale so they can partake in the joys of motoring on roads in the area? Maybe India should stop any of its corporations from advertising holidays in Goa because – shhh, please don’t say it too loudly – it is located in place which contains the letters ‘I-N-D-I-A’, and that just may remind people that there is somewhere called ‘the Indian Ocean’. Are people really this insensitive? Since when?
What happened here was some tw*t with a mobile phone saw this advert, took a photo of it and uploaded it onto Reddit. Voila! Well he (or she – I would hate to cause f**king offence!), for one, was not so traumatised or offended by this that they needed immediate grief counselling! Nor did they appear to give any consideration for one second of time to the possibility that uploading this crap onto social media might just ensure that at least one person on the globe with skin as thin as rice paper and a Blackberry would want to start a totally misplaced moral revolution over it! Instant, and exclusively, faux offence taken to……..f**k all! All due to mentioning ‘the Indian Ocean’ in the context of an airline advert. And instead of sanity, what happens? Cue British Airways with their equally faux and totally unnecessary ‘apology’ for offence it never caused. This kind of insane sh*t seems to be happening several hundred thousand times a day, each and every day now. And if you are offended by that comment……sorry, I don’t have a Twitter account to express my insincerity on.
The world truly is, without a f**king doubt, clinically insane.